Concert Share
As I was thinking about what I wanted to say tonight to introduce Audrey, and share how I came to connect with her music, I realized that the easiest way would be to tell you all what I told her. I want to share an email I wrote to Audrey almost two years ago.
Hi Audrey,
I just pledged to your kickstarter. For the concert. I don’t have a venue yet. I’ve never hosted a concert…I actually haven’t even attended that many concerts. I just…have connected really deeply to your story and the way you describe where you exist now.
The past two years of my life have involved: the transition of my transgender kiddo, the realization of the complicated mix of my own sexuality, going from the very center of my church community (conservative presbyterian) to…outside of that. Throw in your standard awakening around purity culture and releasing of the need for a story that holds everything together consistently, and I trust you’ve got a pretty good sense of space I’m occupying.
You were on a podcast pretty recently that I don’t usually listen to–I actually can’t even remember the name of it. The conversation seemed framed as “two christian musicians who have deconstructed their faith, one who has reconstructed and is now a priest, the other who is still ‘lost [you].'” I felt those spiritual-insider-turned-outsider triggers start to fire inside of me listening to the host and the other guest talk about rebuilding faith. And then I thought, “why am I giving more weight to them than I am to her? I agree with her. What she’s saying speaks to my own experience–in the freedom and joy, and in some of the grief.
In the tiniest of windows that I have into your current spot on your spiritual journey, I see you leaning heavily toward joy and healing and away from rage (maybe you are just concealing the rage, but please give me hope that you’ve processed some of it :)). That’s what I’m wanting to support. Figuring out hosting a concert sounds interesting and different and fun. But the real reason I’m wanting to support this is because I also want to lean toward joy and healing. I feel grateful every day for how much more car singing and pictures of mushrooms taken on long hikes and dancing with my children to music my parents would never have let me listen to that my life contains right now. I wish that for other people too, and I believe your music and work can be part of that.
So here we are, nearly two years later. You might not be able to hear it in what I wrote, but I still remember the alone-ness of the space I was in back then–the fear that I might never find my people. It’s easy to want to skip to the end, but I hope as you’re listening to Audrey’s music tonight, you can drop your guard, and feel some of your own “dark night of the soul” moments–no matter how present or distant those are for you. Whether you’re someone who has listened to Audrey’s music for years and sung it on Sunday mornings or whether you’re hearing her sing tonight for the first time–I hope you find some of that healing and joy in what she is offering to us.
And with that, I’ll turn it over to Audrey.